500 Words pieces

Two Petrol Pumps
David H Bridges

Little-shopped and unhorrored
Angie Cairns

Seedy river had fun
Lynn Breeze

Hebden Bridge Snapshot
Fenella Berry

The Bridge Parties
Brian Wells

Changing the world
Chris Reason

The Bridge Lanes community of yesterday
Leah Coneron

Ruth Robson-King

Hebden Bridge My Tūrangawaewae
Jo Collinge

Communing with angels in the heart of the UK
June Smith

500 years this bridge has stood
Emma Timewell

Jake takes Billy for a walk
- Jason Elliott

Where there's brown rice, there's brass
- Daily Telegraph

4th funkiest town in the world
- highlife

500 Words pieces

Hebden: a Bridge between Worlds
Sarah L. Long

My spiritual home
Gill Smith

Star Reborn
Adrian Lord

Take it to the Bridge
Mike Barrett

"I want two queues!"
David Binns

The Long Haul
Rachel Pickering

The Bridge
Alastair Graham

Walking with History
Graham Ramsden

A pin in the map
Andi Butterworth

Extracts from a Tudor time travellerís letter
Frances Platt

Her Diverse Fun Day
Lynn Breeze

William Darney (maverick preacher)
Glyn Hughes

Breakfasting on the Bridge
Graham Barker

Hermetic Hebden

Take it to the Bridge
- Leeds Guide









Take it to the Bridge

There’s something in the air.
Sergeant Pepper has cast his spell.
Today the Bridge is covered in flowers.
Spelled out in organic cannabis plants on the wavy steps - ’Love and Peace’.
People have started to gather.
(Parking is no longer a problem – thanks to the free car-crushing facility at Walkley’s Mill.)
The checkout staff from the Coop are taking their places,
The Bonsalls are selling everyone a dozen panel-pins for two old pence.
Bob Dylan and Dylan Thomas and Dylan from the Magic Roundabout have arrived early to be sure of a good place.
Emmeline (stet – I looked it up) Pankhurst swaps jokes with Desmond Tutu,
Alice Longstaff and Martin Parr are photographing each other
And Father Ted Hughes turns up from Elmet.
Morecambeis Wise-cracking with Linda Smith,
A crack  team of aromatherapists has been working on this for months – now a great healing cloud of perfume hovers over the valley.
The very air is pregnant with expectation:
And It’s A Boy! …. and A Girl and A Bike!
Here comes Albert Einstein, he’s reading an incomprehensible headline in the Hebden Bridge Times to Jimi Hendrix while flames shoot from his guitar (Albert’s that is).
Make way for Ivor Cutler - he’s wheeled in on a harmonium whilst jamming with the Junior Band.
Disturbed by the commotion, the writers of TV soaps look up from their laptops and are finally inspired  to write positive storylines.
Sam Beckett is getting excited – it is rumoured that Godot will make an appearance.
“Great little shops.” he mutters.
And is that Arvo Part with James Lovelock, Fritjof Capra and Thomas Mapfumo and all the Blacks Unlimited coming onto the Bridge? They’re gigging at The Trades tonight.
Andy Goldsworthy releases a perfect line of scarlet petals into Hebden Water,
Tracy Emin has woven her underwear into a flag for Bernard Ingham to wave aloft.
“Windpower for ever!” he shouts.
Marcel Duchamp has made a new sculpture for St George’s Square in the shape of a huge urinal.
And yes, Yoko Ono has persuaded the Hepton Singers to take all their clothes off.
Meanwhile, E. F. Schumacher and Ghandi knit small and beautiful hemp shopping bags for the bag ladies.
William Blake recommends his hair-stylist to Einstein and Emily Bronte,
Miles Davis swaps riffs with The Peace Artistes.
The Big Issue sellers, no longer homeless, have prepared a treat for everyone: they distribute free dock pudding to the crowd.
Usherettes from the Picture House are handing out cups of tea and homemade cake.
And now - a choir of lesbians, 500 strong, descend on the Bridge from the Yorkshire Air Ambulance singing The Internationale.
This even beats the Duck Race!
And at last, here’s James Brown restored to life and sanity
(Para-reflexologists have been working all night re-aligning his chakras.)
He holds hands with the lesbians,
They lift their joined hands skywards in a Mexican wave of harmony
And the whole throng raise their voices in a mighty chorus:


Mike Barrett